It’s Time for a Reality Check

When is a good time for a reality check? I suppose it would be beneficial to do them fairly frequently to make sure you are on track and not being skewed off course by irrelevant details. But I guess it really depends on where you are at in your life and the level of comfort you have with "going there." For some, a reality check is relatively easy, and adjusting course when they see that they are off track is no problem. For others, the possibility of finding out that they may be off course is too scary to even look at.

Actually, the latter is the scenario that creates the real and enduring problems in people's lives. Rather than find out that they are off course and then make a decision about what to do about it, they feel more comfortable having a story about why things are the way they are for them. Life becomes more about living to support the story about their life than about being present with what's really happening in their life. And we have all done this, or continue to do this, in various aspects of our lives.

Maybe we are feeling like we are in a helpless situation that will never end. We don't see a way out and no one can help us. We might feel like other people or situations are messing us up or keeping us from being on track. Or maybe we are feeling really blocked or stuck in some place where we can't seem to make the breakthrough we need or yearn for.

When we are living a story that is not very supportive of the life we want, it is definitely the time for a reality check. It is time to take a serious look at what the facts really are. What are the situations and circumstances that are going on around us? Are we seeing them as simple things and events, or are we projecting some story onto them before we really see what they are?

For a successful reality check, what we truly need first is a clear view of the facts rather than our inner interpretive story about our experience (which is typically extrapolated from our response to, and judgement of, a similar past event). We need to see the situations or circumstances as the things or events that they are, right now.

Then we need to see what happens when we actually allow ourselves to experience being present and to really feel the sensations and emotions that the event or thing triggers within us. This is tricky because we are so used to only experiencing our story. The reality check is in our being present with the situation or circumstance for what it is. It is when we simply allow ourselves the opportunity to move with the energy of the situation or circumstance and breathe, so we are completely aware of ourselves in it. With this presence and awareness comes knowledge, intuition and choice. We can fully embody and then release the feeling, or use it to impel us to something new and better.

You may notice that this process is easier for some than others. Some people encounter an obstacle or predicament and say, "No Problem." They have enough personal power to first check in with themselves and how they are being affected, and then check into the problem to see what is actually going on. A solution or alternative comes to them relatively quickly, and they act on it so they can get back on course. Others encounter the same problem and go into a story about how this always happens to them and this is the reason why they never get ahead. They never check in with themselves. Instead, they focus on the story and find people who support them in it.

The first group of people never perceive themselves as having problems. They have challenges that make them stronger as they find solutions. The second group of people believe that problems abound and do not feel that they have any responsibility in the situation.

The first group does reality checks frequently. They like to because they want to make sure they are on track for the life they want to live. The second group rarely does reality checks because they live constrained, in pain and in fear as a result of their story. What this groups needs is to stop and do a reality check before they do anything else. Their avoidance of what is really going on and their responsibility in it is not only hurting themselves, but the others around them as well.

Is it time for a reality check? I'll say. It will help get you living the life you want sooner. Of course, for some, the first reality check can be the toughest: What life do you want? The more you do them, the easier they get, and soon when there is a problem, you'll be saying, "No problem."