Dr. Paul Newton 2011

When checking in with reality, I suppose the first thing to do is make an observation of the “reality” you are living.  I mean, is your “reality” a joyful existence, is it the same @#$% different day, or is it something completely different?  What does your reality look like to yourself and others?  I think this is something worth checking and what it all comes down to is where do you put your focus.

If you think about most people, they have jobs, education, relationships, family, commuting, obligations, perhaps a hobby or two and bills to worry about.  Then there is the news, media, the internet and marketing that make us feel like our lives would be better if we only had this new amazing product.  With so many things grabbing at our attention, where do we focus?  Worse still, due to the rapid pace at which things change today, our attention span is so short that we are often bored and moving on to the next thing within seconds.

Is it any surprise that most people are stressed out, overwhelmed and even depressed?  At best, we may have some hope for a mini reprieve on the weekend to decompress and let our minds rest.  The vacations we plan to relax on can be just as fast moving as our daily lives, and more often than not they have to measure up to the expectations created by marketing and media.  So no one around us is making it any easier for us to be joyful and happy.  In fact, the cards are stacked against us and it’s not going to change.

In all of this, the one thing that you do have control over is the place you decide to focus.  Your focus is where and how you consciously decide to place your attention.  This is critical because, if you do not proactively make a decision about where you direct your attention, you are at the mercy of all the others out there that want it.  And they are very good at getting it!  So how do you improve your focus?

Your focus is like a telescope.  A telescope is used to make something that is far away appear closer, larger and clearer.  And unless you point the telescope at the right place, you will not see what you want.  But once you find what you want, you can observe and study it and then make a decision about what you would like to look at next.  Often, once you have found what you are looking for through your telescope, you decide to see if you can find anything similar to it or related to it.  You get better at studying what you were originally looking for and you find more of it.

If you focus your attention like a telescope, you can decide what you want to look for. For example, if you want to find a way to bring some peace into your day, you cannot focus your attention on all the stressful and hyper-stimulating events that happen throughout your day.  While these events will continue to happen, and will still probably require some of your attention, you must decide to scan your day until you find something that can bring you some peace, point your telescope at it and make it bigger and clearer.  This way you can hold it in your focus and study it.  The next thing you know you will be looking for other things in your day that are similar or related to it and be studying them as well.

Reality checking is a really important thing to do to make sure that your focus is in your control.  The last thing you want to do is leave your attention at the mercy of the media!  If you want to improve your focus, make sure that your attention is directed at something that is important and meaningful to you.  Scan your days with your telescope until you find an example of what you want so you can study it.  Soon you will find that more and more examples show up and you have lots of what you want to work with.