Dr. Paul Newton 2011

You know, language is so often taken for granted, but did you ever think how important it is?  It’s one thing to try to communicate with someone whose mother tongue is different from your own, but how easy is it to get your message across even when you are both fluent in your own language?  Do you ever experience the frustration of saying something with a particular meaning in mind and then having the recipient presume a completely different meaning?  I believe if you experience this repeatedly with one person, it is called a relationship!  So how do we keep from creating communication blunders when we are speaking to someone who understands English?

Well language does not simply refer to the origin and definition of each word spoken.  It also must take into context the meanings, associations and the importance that the person speaking, and the person hearing, the words connect with what was said.  This means that while the words you choose to say have a specific relevance and importance to you, they may not be shared with the person to whom you are speaking.  Or the degree of meaning may be quite different. Sometimes the words you use may have such strong associations for a person – be it positive or negative - that they have an adverse reaction to your statement even though no such response was intended.

So I have two suggestions for making sure your communications are well received by your listeners.  Now I know that some listeners are more challenging than others and that usually, the closer the relationship the... well you know!  But try these out, especially when you both fluently speak the same language.  I know you will have more success in effectively getting your message across.

1.      Listen to the words they use, then use their words to speak to them.

2.      Communicate your message to them in terms of the benefits they will receive.

Anyone hearing about benefits (that they want) communicated in the words that they themselves normally use will be open and receptive to the ideas being shared communication.  It’s called “speaking the person’s language” and it’s not just about using words that they should comprehend!  It’s about reaching them and moving them.

So what does that mean for me communicating to you?  I want to use your words.  That means that I will eliminate the use of technical jargon and the terms that Dr. Donald Epstein invented to describe Network Spinal Analysis (NSA).  Oops, I mean the treatment sessions I do that help you relax so much!  I will talk completely in terms of the benefits you can expect in your life from the context of your experience of life.  Basically, I hope to be even easier to read and understand.  If I’m explaining something, I’d like it to sound like a conversation about something interesting in your life.

Of course, since I offer a service that is somewhat similar to others but also very unique, I will describe the uniqueness.  I also imagine that if you have read my stuff for a while, that perhaps you are interested in learning a bit about something new.  So if I need to introduce a word and describe it to continue my story and our conversation, I hope you will allow me to go there.  And if you are confused, bemused or enthused, I hope you will let me know.  Overall, though, I promise to keep using your words (by which I mean common everyday language) and to talk in terms of the benefits and relevance to your life

That’s my story and the way I will apply the two points I suggested to avoid making communication blunders when speaking to you and to others.  Do you make these mistakes in English?  Why not learn to speak their language and be heard no matter what language you are speaking.

 P.S.  Consider also that your first relationship and conversation is with yourself.  To learn more about the power of language and of words in self-communication, read my article “I want to, get to, choose to”.)(see Volume 3, Issue 27)