RSS FeedMay 20, 2013 @ 1:31 PM
Dr. Paul Newton 2013
It’s no secret. Attractive people are more successful, influential and enjoy more perks than their unattractive counterparts. Wait a minute! Before you get all up in arms about me telling you that the world favours beautiful people, hear me out. Not all beautiful people are attractive and many attractive people are far from physical beauties. So the question is, “How do you make yourself attractive?”
Attraction is the force that draws things together or pulls one object towards another. An attractive person has a magnetic effect on other people and therefore tends to enjoy more attention, opportunities and fun if he or she wants it. In order to exert this attractive pull on others, you need to ...
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There is a fundamental difference between needing more and wanting more. Need is formed from scarcity whereas wanting comes from a place of abundance. In times of scarcity, either real or perceived, our thoughts and actions are driven by lack and it becomes easy to focus on what we do not have. When we “need” something we are implying that without it we cannot survive. On the other hand, wanting is the desire to enhance or expand upon what you already possess. Wants and desires are also important as they encourage our growth and advancement. They are the spice of life.
Imagine a trip through a mountain range filled with spectacular scenery, breathtaking vistas and impressive grandeur. From an outsider’s perspective it all sounds rather glamorous and romantic to envision yourself in the hiking gear, breathing in the fresh air and setting out for adventure. Being in it is a whole other story. The hills are hard to climb, the forces of nature are unpredictable and unrelenting and the whole thing is a test of your character. But, if you tough it out, get proper guidance and learn from your mistakes, the whole thing can be a character-building, rewarding and overall enjoyable experience. 
What is a belief? Well, a simple definition would be that a belief is an assumed truth. For people to believe something, there needs to be an agreement that a certain concept is true. People who do not agree with the concept do not believe it. What this means is that believing the concept, or not, is an interpretation or judgment of a situation, circumstance or thing rather than a pure observation of “what is”. There is a choice that is made to accept or reject the concept. Belief must therefore involve first the acceptance of an interpretation or judgment as being true, and then the continued firmly held opinion or conviction that it is truth or reality.
You know how they say, “Those who can’t do it teach it”? It is usually used in a derogatory sense when a teacher or professor at some institution is so out of touch with the field he or she is teaching in that the course is pretty much useless. However, I would like to suggest that all of us put teaching into play to some degree in our lives. While we may never be formal teachers, instructing, helping, showing, coaching, mentoring and sharing is how we develop proficiency and then mastery at the skills we wish to develop. 
We have all been hurt and traumatized at some point in our lives and we all carry scars and unhealed wounds from events, circumstances, relationships, failures and many other things that impacted us. Often we are ashamed of the fact that this remains with us and we really prefer to show our best side to others so they don’t have to see that we aren’t “all together”. We have stories about what happened to us and we may have issues today around things that activate that hurt part of us. The truth is, a lot of our life is oriented around not dealing with the pain and the feelings associated with it. 
There are times when we feel let down by our body because it is unable to adequately support us through life. We get sick, tired, injured or affected by disease. The body part or system that has been afflicted soon becomes the target of disappointment, blame and anger. When faced with a chronic or recurring condition, the emotional rollercoaster created by repeated setbacks can leave us feeling empty and numb. The condition becomes the focus of blame and our body is seen as something foreign that has been invaded. Before true healing can take place we must end the battle and make peace with our body.
What is an opportunity? The Merriam-Webster online dictionary describes an opportunity as a favourable juncture of circumstances. This definition is fairly wide open to interpretation, leaving what a person sees as opportune as a matter of their own preference, decision and creativity. Therefore, in order to seize the opportunity, one must first see the possibility that the juncture of circumstances has made favourable.
There is something unsettling about the unknown. When we don’t know what to expect, we get nervous and often seek comfort in things that we feel we can count on. Being unsure of what will happen next causes us a lot of stress and can make us turn to things that we know will give us a sense of control or relief. Sometimes we may look to the comforts of food, alcohol, sleep, shopping or television to make us comfortably numb. Other times, we may look to more supportive practices like yoga, meditation or exercise to gain an amount of certainty in uncertain times. Whatever it is, we don’t like living in uncertainty.
I know not everyone suffers from this, but many of us do. We actually think it is a strength that we care so much to make things perfect. Sometimes we brag about it, but basically, nothing is ever good enough. And in the end, perfectionism makes our lives miserable.